Regale White
what do you think of this poem?
Hey everyone, i wrote this poem this year along with some sort stories. my mom told my i should try to publish them, but i was wondering what you guys think. please no rude comments, just constructive criticism thanks =)
i’ll post some of my other works later, but here’s the poem, hope you like it!
Inside and Out
Are you not unlike a cloud?
Drifting through life with no purpose
From afar you are regale and proud
Concerned of only your surface
Even up close white is your gold
But deep in your self it still remains cold
Are you not unlike a cloud?
In L4 I would say “only of” instead of “of only”. It flows better.
L6 is awkward. “Yourself” is one word. And instead of “But deep in yourself it still remains cold” I would write “But deep inside yourself is cold,” so the measure is correct.
I like the repetition of the first and last line.
In all, it is a decent poem.
Pople, Ice Cream, and Regale
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